by Dana Rubin‑Winkelman, MSW, CAPSW, Social Worker, Adult Day Services
I hope you and your family are well. I am thinking of you and sending my positive thoughts. I hope to bridge the distance through this electronic connection.
For Jewish people, this is a contemplative time of year. We are currently in the Hebrew month of Elul. Elul spiritually challenges each of us as we turn inward and prepare ourselves for the upcoming High Holidays, Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). During this introspective period, we reflect on our past year and consider our hopes for the year to come. We also reflect on our relationship with others, G-d, and ourselves. Rabbi Liz Hirsch refers to this as tikkun middot or “repairing of our attributes or character traits.”
For those readers who are not Jewish and/or are caring for a loved one with memory loss, I hope you will find this Touch Points informative and helpful. Many of the reflective questions encourage self-discovery and self-improvement. In the end, aren’t we all a constant work in progress?
In this spirit, I will share some of my favorite suggestions for self-reflection and preparation. Use the ideas below to reconnect and remember who you are (and who you want to be). I hope Elul and the High Holidays bring many opportunities for growth and loving connections.
“And above all, remember that the meaning of life is to build a life as if it were a work of art.” (Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel)
IDEAS TO ENHANCE THOUGHTFUL PREPARATION:
1. Getting Started and Setting Intention: A self-inventory is not always easy. So, before you begin to ask yourself questions, focus on quieting your mind. Strive for peaceful open-heartedness. Find the best time and space to encourage introspection. Be very intentional. Use these simple steps to set your intention:
- Find a Peaceful Physical Space and a Calming Time: Where do you feel balanced and have a sense of shalom (peace)? Everyone is different. Perhaps this is in a room in your home or a backyard space? Nature promotes healing and wholeness. If so, a lovely garden, a spot near Lake Michigan, or even a park bench may bring you tranquility. At what time of the day are you at your best? Are you more alert in the morning or at night? Some people feel calm and refreshed in the morning. Personally, I love the stillness of the evening; the quiet night brings me peace and focus. Find your best time of day.
- Quiet Your Mind and Body, Then Find Your Intention: Try deep breathing to induce relaxation. Quieting your body and mind can help you feel balanced before beginning. Close your eyes. Take a breath. Let it fill your lungs deeply. Hold your breath, and in this moment, set your intention toward inward reflection. Let out your breath. Unwind, and feel your body relaxing. Breathe deeply and let your mind go. Now that you are focused and calm, you may feel more committed and open to the process of introspection.
“When you set an intention, the universe conspires to give you the inspiration to make it happen.” (Trish McKinnley)
2. Ask Yourself Questions to Encourage Healthy Reflection: Imagine each of us has our own Book of Life; it is filled with all our words and actions. Rabbi Jessica Barolsky (and others) use this concept. She suggests the High Holidays are a time to pause and look back at our own Book of Life. Rabbi Barolsky asks, “What would you find in your divine notebook?” It is up to us to fill it with the good, rather than the bad. Ask yourself questions to encourage self-reflection and hope. Pick questions that speak to your soul. Here are a few to get you started
- During the Past Year, What Would Your Proudest Moments Be? Perhaps your words or deeds made a difference in someone’s life. Who did you touch in a loving or meaningful way? What have you done that fills your heart with joy and blessings?
- What Would You Want to Change? What habit would you like to break? What do you want to work on during the next year? Begin practicing habits that will make you proud next year (when you look back).
- Do You Need to Say You Are Sorry? Think about all your relationships. Who do you need to connect with- a partner, spouse, parent, child, or friend? Reach out and seek forgiveness from anyone you have hurt. It is never too late to apologize.
- What Are You Grateful For? Blessings and gratitude come in many forms and bring love and peace. What are the simple pleasures that make you smile? What revitalizes you? Have you noticed daily blessings? Perhaps there have been larger, more monumental ones?
- What More Can You Do in the Coming Year to Help Tikkun Olam– Repairing the World? We each have an obligation to continue to mend our imperfect world. Find a cause that matters to you and work to spread kindness and love. Imagine if we all made a small contribution – how enormous the outcome would be! Let’s all do our part. Wake up each morning, find a way to be grateful, and use the energy to help others.
“If you see what needs to be repaired and how to repair it,
then you have found a piece of the world that G-d has left for you to complete.
But if you only see what is wrong and what is ugly in the world, then it is you yourself that needs repair.”
(Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson)
3. Use Tradition and Music for Inspiration: “Rosh Hashanah does not burst in upon us.” (Arthur Waskow) We can use this time to make ourselves ready. Be fully engaged and present throughout the month of Elul; enhance your experience.
- Enjoy the Sounds of the Shofar: During the month of Elul, the Shofar (ram’s horn) is blown every morning (except on Shabbat). Symbolically, the Shofar “blasts” are intended to wake our souls and move us into a spiritual accounting. If you cannot make it to a synagogue to hear the Shofar, I’ve got you covered! Watch/listen to the Shofar being blown around the world. Click here for this 30-second video.
- Inspire Grateful Intention Through Music: My neshamah (the Jewish notion of the soul) is sparked when I enhance the holiday with song. The blend of beautiful music and meaningful words pushes my heart and soul in the right direction as I strive “to do better and be better.” Dig a little deeper and find what moves you. Is it a spirited prayer or a secular tune? Let music elevate a moment into a soulful experience. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- “One Day” by Matisyahu: I love Matisyahu’s uplifting, positive message of hope! Click here to listen to this inspiring song. This is a true favorite! Enjoy this 3-minute video.
- “Oseh Shalom” by Rick Recht: Oseh Shalom is a prayer for peace and wholeness. For me, this tune is hypnotic. Click here for this 3-minute video.
- “Sanctuary” by Mishkan Chicago Davening Team: Rabbi Lizzi Heydemann leads the house band and congregants at a Sunday morning service. This song is stunning and has an incredible arrangement! Please forgive the video recording; just close your eyes and listen. It is one of my favorites! Click here (4 minutes) to listen.
- “Avinu Malkeinu” Barbra Streisand sings: Even if you do not understand the words, you can feel the deep emotion. This is an undeniably gorgeous version (4 minutes).
“If words are the pen of the heart, then song is the pen of the soul.” (Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi)
4. Elul Brain Health Exercise:Regular mental fitness exercise can boost memory, focus, and mental skills. Try this beautiful reminiscing brain health exercise. Draw an outline of your family home. Describe each room. Add details about colors, scents, and what you feel and hear in your home. What blessings and memories fill your rooms? Recall these details during reflection.
5. Speak Out Against Anti-Israel and Jewish Hate: Actor David Schwimmer said, “You don’t have to say anything political; no one’s asking you to solve the conflict in the Middle East. Just say that you stand with your Jewish friends, colleagues, and neighbors against hatred and discrimination.” Please bring Israel into your thoughts with this prayer by The Maccabeats: Avinu Shebashamayim – A Prayer for the Welfare for the State of Israel.
Shana Tova! – Happy New Year!
I hope this Touch Points provides you with ideas to enhance your experience and elevate this sacred time. Reflect on the past year and set goals and positive intentions for the year to come; recommit to the people, issues, and connections that matter most. I wish you and your family a New Year filled with good health, blessings, and peace.
Do you have a question related to aging, memory loss, community resources, or caregiving? I am here and happy to assist! Please do not hesitate to contact me.
Thinking of you and sending all my positive energy, light, and love,
Dana
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